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Monday, April 30, 2007
To the style-mobile!

As much as I occasionally like being fashionable and participating in certain trends (tulip skirts, platforms, and the art of draping), I have lately felt drawn to the opposite of what is in vogue. I'm sick of seeing girls wearing bloody tunics and smocks everywhere, I'm sick of too-skinny jeans, I'm beginning to despise leggings and I wish Kate-bloody-Moss would just disappear. Topshop happens to be the only vaguely decent place to shop in Lancs...and the vintage hall, to get to civilisation you have to go to Manchester. They have some great shops in Manchester, so even if I don't want to buy anything/am totally broke, I can just be around clothes that haven't been designed with Kate Moss wannabes in mind. I am returning home mid-June, and one of the first things I am doing, is going to the mothership; Uniqlo. Uniqlo can be described with one word; perfection. You can mould classic designs to your own style instead of looking all sheep-like. You're probably thinking that it's simple to be indivdual, but for me, when clothes have endless patterns and designs on them, it's no good. I don't mind the occasional design or motif, but it's the frenzied art attack style prints which make me lose it. I'd like to see people who are inspired to wear clothing which represents them as opposed to just mindlessly copying everything they see celebrities wear because they think it's cool. Am I reaching for the stars?
Uniqlo says no. And I believe them.

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Saturday, April 28, 2007
Blinding.

If like me, you pretty much refuse to participate in typical summer dressing, choosing to wear winter colours instead of bright colours, you might find an exception in the form of sunglasses, which can add flashes of colour to otherwise neutral outfits.

I actually like wearing sunglasses.If they're big enough, they conceal a multitude of sins and they're wearable because there's a style for everyone, whether they're classic "I'm channeling Tom Cruise circa Top Gun" Ray-Ban aviators, or Tom Ford 'bug-eyes' as seen on my sister...I think she's aquiring a decent style and this is a misconception I'll harbour until the next time I see her and she'll be wearing something silly. I usually tell her/wrinkle my nose in distaste/look her up and down, and then she'll say "what?" before she tells me I'm a snob and "up myself." It's true so I can do nothing but shrug, throw on my sunglasses and mince off into the sunset.


Clorette - Oliver Peoples
For the 'nu-ravers' amongst us.
Tekno - m/m



Alain Mikli





If you're jonesing for a pair of vintage sunglasses, and can handle some competition, blood, sweat, tears and tension, try Ebay. It always has some gems floating around, but bidding sometimes gets fierce, so try not to lose any fingers in the process as you furiously click your way to victory.

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6 comments

Thursday, April 26, 2007
Sunshine in the north with Spells of Nauseating Style.

It was the arrival of warm weather today at Lancs. It took me about an hour and a half to get dressed, I wore grey tights and I regretted it, as I knew I would. The weather meant that all the skets at Lancs got their legs out and started prancing around in those godawful cutoff denim skirts which they wear with tight navel-grazing tank tops and flip-flops. Whoop-de-doo. Because the girls were making me a feel a tad depressed, I decided to only look at the boys if I had to. And you know what? The guys here aren't that great. The majority have a boring style, and boring faces. The exceptions I think are Digeridoo Boy, Laundry Boy, and Hot Curly Haired Guy - DB plays the digeridoo, which sounds weird but it's strangely appealing, LB is Argentinian I think, while HCHG wears glasses and is dreamy. Really. And that guy who I always see in Alexandra Square who looks like Trent Ford.

On the subject of the great, Modular is holding their next huge legendary party Fri 25th May, so if you live in London (or close) you should go, amongst those DJ-ing will be Sebastian and Herve. It will be amazing, you can see here what that much fun looks like. I, unfortunately will be at university studying my little socks off for exams. I am also bitter about missing Modest Mouse in May.

Harry and the Potters are playing at Lancs Library after hours but I'm not really excited because I don't like Harry. If it was Ron and the Weasleys maybe, or Cedric and the Diggorys. Both would make more sense anyway because there is more that one Weasley and Diggory, while Harry is alone, so who are the other Potters? It doesn't add up.

Due to much procrastinating today, here's The Apathist Mix 2:
  1. Bright as Yellow - Mazzy Star
  2. Little Monsters - Charlotte Gainsbourg
  3. Dance With Me - Nouvelle Vague
  4. Fairest of the Seasons - Nico
  5. Towa Tei feat Batacuda - Bebel Gilberto
  6. Teenager - Camera Obscura
  7. Sugar Water - Cibo Matto
  8. Monte Carlo - Diane Cluck
  9. Say Yes - Elliott Smith
  10. White Rabbit - Jefferson Airplane
  11. Oh My Love - John Lennon
  12. Little Motel - Modest Mouse
  13. After Laughter Comes Tears - Wendy Rene
  14. Wild Horses - Mazzy Star
Rumour-mill: A Cory Kennedy documentary. Oh, the humanity.

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3 comments

Monday, April 23, 2007
Back to Black.

Only 180 days to go until winter is upon us. While I'm the kind of girl who loves summer, I'm not the kind of girl who enjoys wearing summer clothes. I like to wear tights, long socks and winter coats as long as humanly possible. I love winter clothes. There's just something about summer clothes which just doesn't appeal to me, it might be because I always end up feeling like I've given up style in favour of practicality because it gets too hot, and I can't bothered anymore.

Getting me through this summer, and excited for winter are this lot. Make sure you check out Giambattista Valli's shoes, they are brilliant! House of Dagmar's print knits with emerald giant sequins caught my eye too, as did Veronique Leroy's winter coats with gloves, and Rick Owens gorgeous heavy leather-sheepskin aviator jackets.

Rick Owens

Veronique Leroy

Wunderkind

House of Dagmar


Giambattista Valli


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Sunday, April 22, 2007
Wishful Thinking.

I have a French presentation tomorrow afternoon and I haven't yet written anything. And it's supposed to be in French. However, I'm back at uni so procrastination is the name of the game once again. That, and 'How-to-drive-Meg-completely-insane', which my flatmate Nick is playing with the boys from the flat downstairs. The rules basically dictate that they stand around in the corridor, talking/shouting about ridiculous things until I crack and start yelling in an insane manner in my room, seemingly to myself but really at them. It usually involves a lot of 'son of a bitch-ing,' which seems inappropriate but it's worth it. David from downstairs is the worst; he is like a freaking human foghorn, and trust me, he foghorns well. But for now, I figure that until they decide silence is golden, I have no choice but to entertain myself with other things, otherwise I'll have really crappy presentation because I wasn't concentrating on making sure the sentences were subjugated in the imperfect tense (I'm not sure what this means, but in French apparently it's important).
EDIT: She forgot I was presenting today! So I didn't.

Gah!
Anyway, whilst procrastinating/biding my time to go postal, I found out that horror of horrors, Sienna Miller is launching a clothing line called Twenty8 Twelve with her sister Savannah, backed by Pepe. I personally think this is a joke, I mean who in their right mind would let this woman...
...design her own collection? Why Sienna? Why do you just refuse to fade into the relative/complete obscurity you deserve?

Model Watch To soothe your traumatised eyes, this is Cecilia Mendez - my alternative to Agyness, she looks like a pretty boy in a dress and I am loving it.



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8 comments

Thursday, April 19, 2007
Girl crush.

I always find it hard finding famous people who have style AND an attitude I admire, because it seems like there's complete over saturation in A-list Land of people who may have style but no substance, which means that whenever they open their mouth, you feel like grabbing a roll of duct tape and sealing it shut (See Scarlett run).
Besides being an incredible actress and singer, the divine Charlotte Gainsbourg has a unique beauty and style which is classic and modern at the same time.
I could write more, but really what you should do is watch her films, listen to her music, and fall in love with her yourself.





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6 comments

Monday, April 16, 2007
Varying degrees of (a)pathetic.

Googling is addictive. Until I was 8, I used to live in Nairobi, I led a sheltered existance; private school, ballet classes, piano lessons (which I was told to give up because my fingers were too fat)but major upheavals (remember, I was 8) came when my parents separated suddenly, and I moved to England with my sister and mum, leaving behind all my friends, and most importantly, W. - who was the love of my life (age 5-8). If you see my class photos, I'm the dorky one looking up at the boy next to me, instead of the camera. So, when I embarked on my 'old schoolfriend Googling spree,' he was the one I started with.

And guess what? W. lived about three-quarters of an hour away from me since he was 13. Yeah. He got a scholarship when finishing at a snooty school in Surrey, where they sail and share 'tuck' with boys nicknamed Pongo. And now he goes to Oxford University. He's an over-achiever. I should have known. Samuel, who I hated because used to be completely ridiculous also got a scholarship...and an afro. He still looks stupid. The only one I can't find is Lindsay. She was this annoying, prissy American girl who did everything just perfectly...and all I can find is a minor baseball player with that name. Maybe she had a sex change. That would be too good to be true. Except that would make her/him/it a professional baseball player aged 18, which makes her/him/it a sporting overachiever. I might just spread rumours that she did have a sex change. Maybe I'm an overachiever at being vicious. I sure hope so.

It's funny though, that in the end, I don't really want to talk to them, or see them ever again. I hate reunions, I'd much rather see their lives on a screen so I don't have to make endless, pointless conversation which I know will end in "we must keep in touch." I still care though. That's a bit irritating.

EDIT: I found her! I found Lindsay! She was a prefect. I knew it. I can't believe it, she had the same hairstyle in 2005 as she did in 1995, but seems to have no other overachieving qualities. Ahhhh, breathe easy Meg, breathe easy.

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Thursday, April 12, 2007
I Heart Mrs Mills.

Mrs Mills is an advice columnist for the Sunday Times Style Magazine. Some say she is Martha Stewart's doppelganger, other's say she is really A.A.Gill, I know her only as my dream woman. Every Sunday, I'll snatch up the Style magazine first and go straight to the last page where I'll cackle over Mrs Mills' advice - toast in hand - loving the way Mrs Mills efficiently solves the problems of three lucky readers with wit, and occasional bitchiness. She is my hero.

My wife and I have been invited to a friend’s 40th-birthday party. It’s fancy dress, and the theme is fetish. I am slightly shocked that such a theme would be considered acceptable in our quiet, rural village. Should I ignore the theme and go as a policeman to keep my dignity, or throw caution to the wind and go as a gagged, rubber-clad bondage slave? If you advise the latter, where can I acquire a suitable outfit?
AZ, Swindon
All these sexually themed parties are very tiresome. Far more original would be to construct an armour-like outfit out of blocks of polystyrene and maintain that you misheard and have come as a lump of feta.

I recently travelled in a plane that had two seats between three armrests. The oversized man in the aisle seat said two rests were his and one mine, as I had the window view. Is that right?
JK, Durham
No, it’s not right. You have been a victim of the arrogance of fat people. This is the attitude that makes them always take the larger helping and demand seconds. Of course, they regard themselves as victims of a cruel world that insists on manufacturing clothes in unusually small sizes and shrinking aeroplane seats to narrow dimensions. Your consolation is that you don’t break out in a sweat every time you stand up from a chair.

I am a 24-year-old secretary. On an almost weekly basis, I drop hairgrips into the office photocopier so I can call out the repair guy, who happens to be very fit and appears to enjoy flirting with me. The problem is, when he bends over to work on the photocopier, it is quite obvious that he has a hairy back. How can I persuade him to remove his unsightly fur before I ask him out on a date?
KW, by e-mail
Rather than a hairgrip, jam the copier with a clump of hair. You can then bring up the subject of hairiness and innocently reveal your aversion to hirsute rears. Then again, given your reckless disregard for other people’s property, you might consider just swooping on him with a razor the next time he bends down.

I work in the fickle world of international finance. After I had been in the office until 1am one night, my boss asked me to hastily compose a presentation the next day. I put a chocolate penguin (from a top Bond Street chocolatier) on his desk with the documents. After he left, I found the penguin, still in its transparent box, forcibly thrown into the bin. There was no doubt that he knew who it was from. Should I tell him I know what he did (by the way, I have now eaten the evidence), or should I say nothing and let it pass?
LT, London

There could be far more to this than meets the eye. After all, if I read my Dan Brown correctly, the penguin is the ancient symbol of the Brotherhood of Knights Rampanter, a sinister order devoted to the restoration of the Plantagenet line to the throne, the forcible removal of Scotland from the Union and the promotion of Norwich as one of the world’s financial capitals (which, of course, is what would have unnerved your boss). Then again, perhaps he’s just watching his waistline.

My girlfriend and I have been invited to a glamorous weekend house party. However, it looks as if we will have to turn it down because we can’t take my girlfriend’s shih tzu, as the hosts have various cats and large dogs that they will insist are incompatible with our little chap. Everyone says to put him in kennels, but he was traumatised almost to death when we did that in the summer. As we have only recently moved house, we don’t feel we know the neighbours well enough to ask them to take him in. Is there anything you’d suggest?
MK, Leamington Spa

Shih tzus aren’t really expensive, and they all look pretty much the same. So have him put down and buy a new one when you get back.

My ex-husband will be attending a funeral to which I am also invited. He dumped me and ran off with my best friend, then married her, leaving me brokenhearted. Since then, my life has got better and better, and their marriage is apparently rocky, as she soon discovered what a meanie he is. She will be at the funeral too. My question is, what is the etiquette for wearing diamonds to a funeral? Would it be acceptable to wear all of mine, or just the seven-carat solitaire ring and maybe a small tiara, to set off my black Versace gown?
GP, Islington

Funeral etiquette gives way to encountering-second-wife etiquette, which means: get the diamonds out, fling on the Versace, arrive in a Bentley Arnage (borrow one, if necessary) and check whether Pierce Brosnan (or something similar) is available to prop you up at the graveside. (I’d leave the tiara, though — there are limits.)

I am thinking about giving my boyfriend oral sex. I’ve never done it before, and wonder what is the best way to go about it.
LC, Weymouth

Practise. Take a medium-sized banana and push it into your mouth until you gag, while breathing in an increasingly panic-stricken fashion through your nose. Isn’t it fun?


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Tuesday, April 10, 2007
The Cold Hard Truth

Scarlett Johansson is an idiot. I just read the interview she did with Vogue and she's a self-absorbed idiot. I have to say, I've never really liked Scarlett Johansson. I always thought she was a mediocre actress, with zero expression and decent push-up bra. Also, I find her imitation of 'Old-Hollywood' a little bit tired and boring, especially because Christina Aguilera has decided to channel the same era...though decidedly more slutty. However, I never really judged her on intelligence, but I'm telling you now she's freaking ignorant.

" "Creole? Really? How fascinating. So is there still that whole voodoo thing?"
The young waiter from the island of Mauritius stood tongue-tied in the dining room of the Spa Hotel in Kent, England, baffled by the movie star who was focused on his French accent instead of his list of Frenchified entrées—trout millefeuille and tenderloin en croute. He did not understand why his native dialect made her think of black magic, Mardi Gras, and dolls with pins. "You know, voodoo? Witchcraft? Is that part of the culture?" Her voice lowered coaxingly. "You can tell us." "

That whole voodoo thing? Oh Scarlett, if only you had a brain you'd know that generalising is stupid. Did you think that every Haitian person was some kind of witch-doctor? You did, didn't you? You probably think they fly around on broomsticks and study at Hogwarts, don't you?

" "...she likes to see herself, as a city kid who grew up without frills or preppy pretenses. "I'm not one of these collegiate girls," she said, almost proudly. "I went to public school; nobody was playing any tennis." "

Shit, I had no idea there was a rule that said ALL privately-educated kids had to play tennis. Way to generalise again. And public schools don't play tennis? Really? I guess everyone was toting guns or something at the Professional Children's School in Manhattan, where Scarlett went. Yeah, even Mischa Barton and Cory Kennedy. Who knew those kids had it so hard?

" "I'm definitely spent," Johansson said, explaining that after finishing The Other Boleyn Girl, she was taking her first long break in five years."

No Scarlett, we're spent. We're spent after seeing your pathetic, lamentable performances at least 3-4 times a year. When I read this, my heart surged and I thought, Oooh a long break, that'll be nice, but then I saw that actually after filming The Other Boleyn Girl - which is out this year - she's lined up to do 6 movies between 2008 and 2009. Sorry folks, looks like it was a false alarm. Additionally, she will be recording a CD in this so-called break. Lucky us. It's like she's afraid that if she doesn't do as many movies as humanly possible, then everyone will forget her. But why? Why would anyone forget her when she is a brilliant actress who gives such memorable performances?

On college and Natalie Portman:

" "She's a wonderful actor, just a great scene partner," Johansson said. "I guess I had never really worked with a young woman my age. She's so professional. And she's not pretentious or anything, just a really nice girl. It also helped that she's from New York...I met a couple of her friends from school, and they're all absolutely lovely," Johansson said. "Natalie had a really nice college experience, but she wanted to go, and I didn't." The actress, who does want to direct someday, briefly considered film school, then changed her mind."

Which is bullshit, she applied to New York University's Tisch School of the Arts for the 2003 semester, but was rejected. Yeah, rejection can often lead to 'changing minds.' And why does it matter that Natalie Portman is from New York? How did that help?

Nothing can help you Scarlett. NOTHING. Because I'm looking to a future where people see how inadequate an actress you are. You should just marry Woody Allen and hope for the best.

11 comments

Saturday, April 07, 2007
I could do yoga if I wanted to.


I was jonesing for some old school Madonna this morning. All the stuff that came before she became less talented, kabbalah-obsessed and the kind of mother who hits on your male friends because she thinks she's still hot. There's nothing like pre-'95 Madonna, I still remember watching Material Girl for the first time and loving everything about her. And now she just seems to try so hard to be everywhere at once; acting in crappy movies, making crappy music, designing crappy clothing lines. She's just lost whatever appeal she held when she became glossy and over-produced, and obsessed with gettin' down with the kids, which frankly is a little bit creepy, yeah?

The material girls and boys I am loving at the moment:
(You'll see more neutrals than colours here, I hate colour at the moment...I don't wear it well with an attitude and complexion like mine.)


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3 comments

Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Sillybillies.

I watched the first episode of The Apprentice yesterday, every year I say I won't start watching it because it irritates me beyond belief as I always think most of the contestants are idiotic. However, I love a bit of drama and that is one thing The Apprentice provides; good dramatic nourishment. Not just on-screen, but off-screen too, like last year's winner, Michelle apparently hated another contestant, Sayeed (it was mutual hate actually) but then after she won, they started dating, she got pregnant, then they broke up and she eventually lost the baby, while he was investigated and arrested for some business fraud thing. It's like The Young and The Restless...but real life.

Speaking of "the restless," has anyone seen Mary-Kate Olsen recently?
Is it true that she's given up on the pretending-to-eat act and just admitted to sucking people's blood because she's actually one of the undead? What the hell happened to her? Everytime I see her, she looks like a cross between a tramp, a clown, and a zombie, basically my mind is screaming, "Satan's seed!"

Seriously though, do the Olsen twins not have parents? Are they orphans? I'm surprised Ashley Olsen hasn't organised an intervention yet...though she probably would if she thought she could get close enough without slowly being drained of life.

And continuing on the subject of crazy people, word on the street is that Mariah Carey might adopt a child from an orphanage in Mexico. Mariah Carey? Really? This is the woman who is obsessed with having kittens and puppies around her because they're probably the only ones on the same wavelength? The lady who looks like this and said everybody told her to "be less sexy." I still have a hard time believing that guy from Prison Break was in one of her videos even though he got paid for that, and it's not like they're dating.
I personally think she's confused and thinks that children are the same as the toy kangeroos she normally keeps on a leash and takes for walks around LA. Famous people are apparently into bandwagons, remember when your mum used to ask you if you'd jump off a cliff if your friends did? Celebrities actually would, Anjelina Jolie just needs to do it first. However, I think this will probably get straightened out soon enough, and if not, perhaps some kind of petition will be arranged...one that keeps all celebrities away from children and enforces sterilisation. I think the kids in Africa, Vietnam and in general would like that, because fuck-ups aren't born, they're created.

Finally, on the subject of fuck-ups, Avril Lavigne. Was that a dance routine I saw? On the Charlotte Church Show recently, Avril said she liked the dance in her new video 'Girlfriend,' because of there was "lots of punching and kicking." Is she for real? Was she always an idiot? Frankly, after that, I was a little surprised when she didn't get up and start spinning in circles before counting her fingers and toes, then climbing onto Charlotte Church's lap and asking how babies are made.

Closing thought: celebrity, what's that all about?

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6 comments

Monday, April 02, 2007
Back in the Day


Remember the 90's? Was that the decade they forgot about fashion? Today I find myself with what I like to think is a pretty well-honed nose for fashion; I don't find myself wearing clothes that I'll see in 10 years time and laugh at, but the 90's? Oh, they were different. I saw pictures of me in the 90's yesterday (think semi-high waisted jeans with no leg shape at all with a cropped t-shirt and a black rope necklace) and though I was pretty young, I don't know what I was thinking. My sister also looked pretty bizarre in peacock green jeans with baggy t-shirts and a mouthful of metal. What happened in the 90's? Did people just get bored of trends and roll out in whatever looked clean? There were exceptions on TV of course, like in Clueless when Cher was begging for the life of her red Alaia dress, or when...no. No, I think that was it. Don't get me wrong though, I adore this movie and there hasn't been a teen movie to come close to it so far.

I should probably admit though that I wish sometimes I could just go back to this time and dress horrendously and get away with it, because when I think about it, it was pretty good times.

Cher actually looked decent here but why did Dionne think she was in a position to give Tai fashion advice? ...Oh yeah.

Yeah, plaid seems to be the popular choice here.

If you're feeling nostalgic, you can re-create the 90's look by aquiring some of these:
- The 'Rachel' haircut
- Flannel shirts
- Mini backpack
- Baggy jeans for the girls, baggier for the guys
- Doc Martens
- Bum bags
- 2 shirts; a t-shirt with a shirt over it
- Mini-skirts
- Fishing hats
- Mary-Janes
- Platform sandals
- Overalls
- Piercings
- Straw hats with flipped brims and a flower
- Tube socks
- Puffa jackets
- Thigh-high stockings

If possible, wear all at once, take a picture, and send it to me.

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